Random Thoughts (27/3/18) / by Muhammad Amir Ayub

1) Doctors really cannot treat their own family members: you must have that ability to emotionally disconnect from the patients (and only empathize, not sympathize; understand but not necessarily react emotionally) and make proper assessments, give proper advice and manage the case.  Let someone else professionally handle it. Even if your job involves the management of critically ill or terminally ill patients, it is not the same when it involves your own family member. Do you really want to be the one who will put in the lines, perform CPR, or terminally disconnect the ventilator? Do you want to be the one burdened with making a wrong diagnosis and decision? Disregard that this is coming from someone who did put in his own lines, gave emergency neb, applied a noninvasive ventilator to his own son and readily agreed to physically and chemically restrain him to facilitate therapy; I'm not normal. May those who are in such a situation be given peace with their situation.

2) When pursuing one’s goals there will always be competition and obstacles (both personal and interpersonal). So I sometimes think of surfing and bulldozing when it comes to investing into your goals will such issues. Surfing is when you work in line with whatever else is happening. Don’t fight the waves and follow the flow. If you’re always on the move, find a way to study while on the move. I'll bring my gym bag if going directly from work is at the end easier than going home first. It’s a friendly “manner” of ensuring that your priorities are attended to, in the sense that your goals are not the priority but are multitasked into the flow of things. Sometimes it’s difficult to get things done other than by bulldozing: forcing your way through (yourself and others) to work on your goals. Sometimes you have to grind during the odd hours or sacrifice social "obligations". There will be victims, but sometimes it’s needed. An optimum balance is what it takes between optimal performance and preservation of self and interpersonal relationships. And if possible, change the direction of the waves so that you’ll surf in the direction you wanted to. But if the goals don’t align, and you have to get your shit down, hunker down and bulldoze through.

3) After the MPA tourney last Nov, I made it a goal to get my weight below 90 kg without manipulation. So far I haven’t seen much success in achieving that goal; I'm weighing heavier around 92.5 kg, a 1 kg increase from my steady-state weight pre-competition. One problem I have is that my sleepiness (from poor sleep hygiene) causes increased hunger; this makes it difficult to maintain discipline and really control the carb intake on the non-lifting days. And I think I've been eating too much carbs anyways on those lifting days.

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